The McClatchy newspaper correspondent in Cairo, Hannah Allam, has written a personal ad — looking for a new president of Lebanon:
“So, yeah, Lebanon has no president … Now, the Cabinet has assumed interim executive powers and martial law is in effect, with the Lebanese military handling security for a volatile land where fate (and some French cartographers) carved a nation that’s approximately 1/3 Christian, 1/3 Sunni Muslim and 1/3 Shiite Muslim. Add in the Druze, Armenians, Palestinian camps, al Qaida’s Levantine branch, Iraqi refugees and maybe a few Iranian Revolutionary Guards and you can see why this is no simple red state vs. blue state political crisis. So, who’s the man to lead Lebanon back from the abyss? He doesn’t seem to be among the current crop of potentials, so let’s cast a wider net. The Lebanese have given us the love ballads of Fairuz, steamy Mediterranean resorts and the most sensuous cuisine in the Middle East. Perhaps we should try a more romantic approach, along the lines of a personal ad. It might go something like this:
Failed state seeks new date. Country of good-looking, beach-going people who killed one another for 15 years ISO strong, presidential type. Let’s start with reconciliation and statesmanship, and see what happens. We’re not into sectarianism, we swear, but our ideal match must be a Maronite Christian. Eloquent and bold in a Nasrallah kinda way, sans the beard and turban. Sedate and reliable like Saniora, except not a crybaby when the Israelis come calling. All inquiries should be sent directly to the American or French embassies (no ticking or oddly shaped packages, please). Letters postmarked Damascus or Tehran will be returned to sender. Can’t wait to hear from you! No, seriously, we can’t wait…it’s in the constitution“.
Hannah Allam’s imaginary on-line personal ad for an imaginary new president for Lebanon is posted here.
My only question: Why does almost everyone assume that the new Lebanese president should be a man? The president, according to a probably-outdated formulation linked to a certainly-outdated census of the country’s population, must be a Maronite Christian — but there’s nothing in the constitution that says the president could not be a woman…